


Free Me I am Utterly Yours

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 20:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili strives to meet expectations while Kili disregards them.  Fill for The Hobbit kink meme featuring them genderswapped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Free Me I am Utterly Yours

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fill on the Hobbit kink meme that requested always a girl!Fili/Kili. So I tried my best! First time writing for these characters and this fandom. I hope you enjoy it :o)
> 
> Title is a lyric from "Barnacles" by Laura Stevenson & the Cans.

Kili’s laughter cut through the tavern, her volume control even worse after eight rounds of ale. Her scarves had slipped off of her head, pooling around her shoulders and she was graciously accepting the hands of men offering her drinks or someone to lean on. She was telling a story about hunting, which wasn’t particularly spectacular, but she sold it with sound effects, swift movements, and the occasional change of pitch in her voice. 

Fili has been sitting in a corner for most of the night, taking any of the extra pints Kili acquired. She was occasionally pointed out by newcomers pulled into the circle that formed around Kili. Kili would proudly point at her and yell, “She’s my sister! Can’t you tell?” The men, most likely unaware of their lineage, would point out that they didn’t look alike. Kili always took offense to it and threatened violence.

After Kili finished her story, she threw up her arms and nearly crashed into the table she was sitting on. The men and dwarves clapped, a taller man adding, “After you hunt better than a man, I’m sure you cook like a good little wife, don’t you?”

Kili just her hand as she finished the dregs of her ale. “Oh, you know!”she chirped, “I do what I have to…”

Fili rolled her eyes and knew that it was code for “I’ve watched my sister and mother cook a lot, but I always found a way out of actually preparing the meal itself.”

The man placed his hand on Kili’s shoulder and pulled her close. “Looks like you could use another drink,” he uttered, his lips close enough that they appeared to graze her ear.

Kili’s breathing hitched and Fili looked up. They made eye contact as Kili peeled the man’s hand off of her shoulder. “I must be going,” she said, turning toward him, “My sister and I have to be up early tomorrow…” 

She tried to slip out of the circle until he grabbed her wrist. She froze as he leaned into her again and asked, “One more story?”

Fili got up off of her stool and marched over. She teetered on her roes to glare at the man.

Kili yanked at his thumb. “Story time’s… _over_ ,” she hissed, “I’m going… _home_.” She pulled at his thumb, nearly bending it backwards.

The man yelped, waving his hand. As he lunged at her, Fili shoved her way into the circle.

“That wasn’t very lady-like,” he muttered, bending his thumb several times. There was a smattering of snickers from within the ircle in agreement. He noticed Fili and snorted. “Aren’t you a little dressed up for this place?” he asked, reaching out to her.

Fili didn’t say anything and connected her fist with his jaw.

“Run!” Kili exclaimed, kicking the man and nearly sweeping him as he crumpled on the floor. She hooked her arm with Fili’s and Fili yanked them out of the circle. They nearly tripped on their skirts as they fell out of the doorway and onto the path that would take them home. Fili attempted to evade rocks as Kili cheered her feet on, occasionally groaning, “Oh my _God_ , I’m so drunk, this I so _bad_.”

When Fili could see their home, she finally slowed down. Kili rolled out of the path and curled up against a tree, laughing so hard that she was hardly making a sound anymore. She finally choked out, “You… you were gonna murder him!”

Fili pressed her fingers to her sister’s lips. “You’re going to wake up Mother,” she murmured.

“She’d be proud of you,” Kili replied, her voice quieting down significantly, “No way… there’s no way that any of those men would have come to my… my defense.” She reached out and placed her hands on Fili’s cheeks. “But you, dear sister, came to my rescue.” She pulled Fili close and loudly kissed her forehead. 

Fili felt her throat tighten. She tried to swallow as she took pieces of Kili’s scarf and arranged them on her head. “I’m always going to protect you. I’m your older sister. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. But… why do you always get us in these situations?”

“You were the one that threw the punch,” Kili noted, scrunching her nose when the fabric of the scarf brushed against it. “I just do it, because the men are especially dumb enough to think that I’m interested in sleeping with _any_ male.”

Fili nearly choked her as she tied off the scarf. “ _What_?” she asked.

Kili looked down at the ground and smiled. “Come on, Fili. It’s pretty obvious.”

“You’ve never said that, though,” Fili replied, “You’ve always claimed you would never marry, but…”

Kili took a deep breath. “All the running is making me ill,” she whispered. She slumped lower against the trunk of the tree. “I’m not attracted toward them.”

“Have you… are you certain?” Kili was still a child by dwarven standards. She didn’t even interact with many women aside from their mother and Fili. She shut her eyes, briefly wondering if her sister attempted to become intimate with a man to confirm.

“I’m certain,” Kili replied, “I’m absolutely certain. I have feelings for someone and everything.”

“Can I know who?” Fili asked.

Kili opened her mouth, and quickly cringed. “Oh no,” she murmured, twisting behind the tree to vomit. She let out a groan. “I thought I drank within my limit!” she yowled.

“It’s probably better that you’re getting it out of your system now,” Fili murmured, making sure that her hair was out of her face.

“What a waste!” she whined as she ducked her head down again to heave. “How are you fine?”

“I wasn’t being offered many,” she explained, “Most of the tavern was hoping to bed a dwarf woman that doesn’t have any interest in sleeping with them.”

“Sh. Now you’re being too loud,” Kili mumbled, “It’s entirely… it’s such… it’s _not fair_ that men give me more attention when we go out like that. You’re beautiful.”

Fili laughed. “You’re my sister, you’re supposed to tell me sweet things like that.”

“This isn’t me being kind. This is me telling the truth,” Kili whined. She sat up straight and huffed. “I think I’m done. I should leave a bucket by my bed to be sure.”

“Are you ready to stand?” Fili asked.

“Yes. I believe so. Can you help me up, please?” she asked, her hands already around her sister’s waist.

Fili helped her up and she nearly pressed most of her weight on her. “I’m not joking,” Kili added, “I know I joke a lot… but you’re beautiful. The men just like me, because I look like one of their women. But you… you actually look like you will be a queen. Beautiful, as well as powerful.”

“Thank you,” Fili said, making it into their bedroom and tossing Kili into her bed. “I’m touched, but you’re drunk.”

“Have I ever said anything different when I was sober?” Kili asked.

“You haven’t and it’s appreciated,” Fili confessed. She walked toward the doorway and said, “I’m going to get you some peppermint and a bucket. I’ll be back.”

“Will you…” Kili started and ducked her head in the furs on her bed. 

“What?” Fili asked, walking toward her again.

“I was just… wondering… if you’d be willing to sleep in my bed tonight.” 

Fili lowered her head, the beads in her hair clinking together.

“I know you wouldn’t want to… because of what I told you. I know there’s something wrong with me. I just…” She finally brought the furs away from her face as a tear ran down her cheek. “Oh,” she whispered, wiping her cheek.

Fili’s stomach flipped as she sat next to her. She hugged her sister close, weaving her fingers between hers. She hushed her as she rocked her back and forth. She slowly began to remove the clips in her sister’s hair and the various accessories around her wrists. “I would be honored. It’s for the best, in case you get sick again.”

Kili snorted. “I don’t think it works that way…”

“Like I said, I’m doing it. It doesn’t matter.” She ran her fingers through her sister’s hair and tried to untangle a knot. “Also, don’t think of yourself as abnormal, because of your… interests.” She finally gave up attempting to decipher the knot and brought her hand out of her hair. “There’s certainly been dwarf men who slept with men… who have found partnership in men. You can’t be the only one.” She got up and smiled. 

“I’m sure I’m going to be expected to be married off, though,” Kili grumbled, “You are, too.”

“Don’t remind me,” Fili whispered.

“So you don’t want to get married, either! No wonder you always came to my defense!”

“I just… don’t think I can love someone like that,” Fili confessed. She spun around the room and muttered, “I forgot to get you a bucket and peppermint… I’ll be right back. I’m sorry.” She charged out of the room, not caring that she was stomping too loud.

As she fumbled in a dark corner of their home for a bucket, she thought about how the morning would begin another day of training for exactly what Kili feared. While she had mornings that she was able to practice combat and help craft items to be sold in the market, her afternoons were carefully regimented around learning how to be able to decipher texts, customs, and domestic tasks. 

She grabbed a few leaves of peppermint from their mother’s herbs and she stood still for a while, clinking the glasses together. She found herself jealous of her sister’s ability to say with such certainty that she knew what she wanted and she was able to have enough time to decipher her feelings for others, even if she wasn’t sure she’d be able to act upon them. The only things Fili knew for certain was that she was expected to go through the process of being courted and eventually taken away from her mother and sister.

As she returned to her sister and her room she realized how, aside from the times that they got harassed, she enjoyed going out with her sister. She could find herself in a room and no longer worry about her obligations. It was just her, a mug of ale, and her sister’s laughter ringing through the entire building. 

But that wasn’t where she belonged.

Kili was curled up on the bed, her night shift riding up to expose her back. She woke up when Fili clunked the bucket on the floor and chewed the peppermint leaves with her eyes still shut. Fili pulled her shift down and pulled the furs over her, joining her on the opposite side of the bed once she got out of her outfit. She tried to find a position that was comfortable and gave Kili her space, but Kili graciously rolled over toward her and leaned her head on her shoulder, curling up against her.

Fili wasn’t sure how long she listened to her sister’s breathing before she finally fell asleep.

*

Fili woke up first and decided to prepare a breakfast for Kili that could potentially combat any and all headaches related to the night before. She shook her several times and left it on the nightstand before she went into the kitchen to prepare food for herself. When she entered the room, she was greeted by her mother preparing to go into the marketplace.

“Is your sister awake yet?” Dis asked, leaning one of the sacks against the door.

“Oh, no. She had a late night,” Fili explained, her words having difficulty coming out of her mouth.

“I assumed. Is the mess by the tree outside her doing?”

Fili ducked her head and rushed to her mother’s side to help her with a sack of items. Dis yanked it away from her and hissed, “You were at the tavern, were you not?”

“It was my fault,” she confessed, A man was giving her a hard time and I threw the first punch… so we ran out and then she got sick and…”

“ _Fili_.”

“…I only wanted to protect her.”

Dis sighed. She inspected one of the braids that fell out of her clip and pushed it behind her ear before she said, “As much as it makes me happy that you two would do _anything_ for each other, she needs to learn that she can’t allow herself to end up in those situations.” She slid the sack against the door.

“So I was supposed to let her be touched unwillingly?” Fili asked, clenching her fists.

“That’s not what I said and you know it,” Dis uttered, “But she does need to be made aware that you will someday have a husband and children to worry about before her.”

Fili couldn’t imagine living a day that didn’t begin and end with Kili. Mornings were helping her nurse hangovers, glaring at her when she tracked mud throughout the house after a hunt, or training in some sort of combat. Evenings were letting her get away with setting up the table and calling it helping around the house, reading books side-by-side, and curling up in their beds, talking about nonsense until one of them inevitably fell asleep. For someone who knew she was expected to love someone and be a good wife for them, the only love she ever had was for her sister.

“You seem troubled by this,” her mother noted.

“I’ve never cared about anyone more than you or Kili.”

“It doesn’t sound possible at this moment, I’m sure,” Dis replied, “I didn’t believe it either, until I met your father.”

Fili shut her eyes, trying to remember her father’s face. It was becoming so long that his face was difficult to recall certain details of. She opened them and said, “Kili doesn’t want this.”

Dis sighed, shaking her head. “No. She’s made that quite clear. But she’ll learn. Perhaps much later than you, but she will.”

Fili searched for a retort and turned away from her for a moment to come up with it. When she turned to the doorway she saw Kili standing in it with a piece of bread sticking out of her mouth. She was still in her nightshift with her hair surrounding her head in an unkempt mess. She shoved the rest of the bread in her mouth and as she chewed on it she garbled, “It’s early for gossip.”

Fili finally realized that she had her fists clenched for the past few minutes. When she lifted her nails out of her palm she noted the half moon impressions that were left on her skin.

“Good morning,” Kili added, finally swallowing.

“It wasn’t gossip,” Fili whispered.

“We’re concerned,” Dis added.

“I’m not concerned, I just…” Fili started.

Kili dramatically waved her hand. “I think I’m going to practice archery. Yeah. That’s what I’m going to do. I shouldn’t be long. Thanks for the breakfast, Fili.” She turned around and disappeared from the doorway as quietly as she entered it.

“Kili!” Fili exclaimed, “I’m sorry, Mother, I…”

Dis shook her head, opening the door. “It was rude of me to have this conversation without her present. Tell her that I apologize. I’d do it myself, but…”

“You need to get going. I’m sure she’ll understand,” Fili reasoned, helping her bring the sacks outside. “Do you need my help?”

“Just make sure that your sister stays out of trouble. Although I’m beginning to realize that might be asking you too much.”

Fili opened her mouth to respond, but her mother closed the door on her before she could. She squinted at the door for several moments before she saw Kili nearly colliding into her while running and slipping on her boots at the same time. “Out of my way, _please_ ,” Kili grumbled. Fili grabbed her wrist and gripped it tightly.

Kili growled. “Please, let me go.”

“I… can’t,” Fili said, loosening her hold. “Just… can I join you? Or can we practice sword fighting? Or something like that? Please? Just give me the time to be able to say something?”

Kili slipped out of her grasp and rubbed her wrist. “Get dressed. Quickly. I’d rather not wait.”

Fili nodded her head and made her way back into their room to get clothes on. When she returned, Kili was sitting on the floor, her back against the door and her bow propped up next to her. “I’m not in the mood for swords,” she added, “You can borrow my old bow if you’re interested.”

“I am,” she replied, “Is it in our room?”

Kili nodded, until she threw her head back against the door.

Fili returned with Kili’s bow and reached out for her sister. “Shall we get going?”

Kili reached out, not quite making eye contact with her as she was pulled up. She opened the door and walked forward, never turning back to see if Fili was still following behind her.

*

Kili didn’t have many talents. She couldn’t cook, she wasn’t particularly articulate, her reading skills always seemed to be a little lower than they should, and she didn’t have much interest in strategy. 

However, she was excellent at archery. So much so that Fili found herself watching her as opposed to practicing with her. Kili had a formula complete with deep breaths, kissing her bow, and hitting her target nearly every time. However, Fili could tell that she was frustrated. Her grip was so hard that her arm shook and she would let out a loud cry every time she missed. After missing her target twice in a row, she screamed and kicked a rock, nearly at Fili’s head. Fili jumped up and walked over toward her. 

Kili dropped her bow and glared at her. “How could you take her side?” she growled, “I told you yesterday about how I feel! I can’t _believe_ you!”

“I never took her side!” Fili exclaimed, “I swear to you! I was trying to defend you!”

“Mama said that you both were _concerned_ about me… like I’m sick. You… but you told me I wasn’t sick. You…” She dropped to her knees and covered her face. “How could I expect you to understand?!”

Fili joined her sister on the ground, nearly reaching out to her. When Kili swiped at her hand, she brought it to her chest. “Will you please listen to me? Kili, if you had listened to any part of that conversation, you would have heard me telling her that I don’t think I could ever marry someone, either.” 

Kili looked up, her eyes red and full of unshed tears. “What?” she asked.

“I told her… I don’t think I could love anyone more than you,” she confessed. “I… it sounds absolutely mad, I’m sure.”

“It doesn’t,” Kili said, sliding closer to her, “It doesn’t at all.”

“I just… can’t bear the thought of not being with you. That I’m supposed to find someone in this whole world that’s supposed to make me want to leave what I have in that tiny bedroom of ours.” She smiled, feeling her own eyes well up. “You are my mornings and my evenings and any moment I can spare in-between.”

Kili grabbed her and pulled her close. Fili finally willed her body to shake as she buried her face in her sister’s jacket. Kili let go of her to bring her forehead against hers and took a shaky breath. “Can I tell you something?” she whispered, “Promise you won’t tell?”

“I promise,” Fili replied, her voice just as soft.

“I… told you last night that I had feelings for someone.”

“Yes, yes you did.”

“I just… promise you won’t run away when I tell you this?” She wove her fingers with Fili’s and Fili curled her fingers into the back of her hands.

“I will never run away from you, Kili. Only run with you.” The thought of them with their arms hooked together as they ran the night before replayed in her head.

Kili rubbed her nose and giggled. “Well, you certainly proved that time and time again,” she said. She cleared her throat and said, “I have feelings for you.”

Fili’s eyes widened. “You… are you sure?”

“Must you always ask that after I tell you something important about myself?” Kili asked, smirking.

“It’s just…”

“We’re sisters. I know. I told you. There’s most likely something wrong with me. I just wanted you to know.” She tried to let go of Fili’s hand, but Fili gripped it tighter. “I won’t act on it. I mean, I didn’t last night. It gets hard sometimes, though.” She tilted her head down and pressed her lips together. “It’s in our nature to love this way.”

Fili took her free hand and placed it under Kili’s chin. She forced her face toward hers and she kissed her hand. 

“Don’t tease me like this,” Kili whispered.

“It’s not teasing,” Fili replied, kissing her hand again.

“I’m being serious, sister.”

“And I’m being completely serious, as well.” She leaned in toward Kili and pulled away when she realized what she was possibly going to do.

Kili stood up straight. “A-are you sure?” she asked. 

Fili nodded as she pressed her lips against hers. She quickly pulled away and Kili mewled. She let go of Fili’s hand and pulled on a fistful of hair to cause their lips to crash into each other again. Fili dragged her hands onto Kili’s chest and began to pull at her tunic until she realized their location and threw herself backward.

Kili mewled. “I’ve been waiting too long for this,” she purred, reaching out.

“This isn’t the right place,” Fili announced.

Kili looked around and gasped. “Shit!” she exclaimed.

“I think we’re okay,” Fili noted, sitting up straight. She placed her hand on Kili’s and said, “I’m sorry. I guess I ended up teasing you in the end.”

Kili jumped up and grabbed her bow. “Give me some time to collect my arrows and we’ll head back. Mama should still be in the marketplace, yes?”

“Well, yes, she should be…”

“Then we’ll head back and spend as much time as we can together until she comes back.” She removed her arrows from the target and returned to her sister. “Need help up?” she asked, reaching out to her.

Fili shook her head as she stood up and watched her little sister survey the ground one more time. “So… this is really happening?” she asked.

Kili hooked her arm with hers. “Well, yes. Don’t forget my other bow.”

Fili picked it up from its resting spot against a rock and leaned against her sister briefly before she led them out of the practice area. They kissed one last time before they made their way onto the path back home. As they walked in nearly perfect time, Fili could barely say anything. She would just smile at her sister until her sister noticed her and smiled back. They finally reached their home and she said, “Mother was very sorry about talking about your future without you.”

Kili grunted as she opened up the door. “Well, she should be.”

“Kili…”

“I’d rather not talk about it. All right? Don’t you ever get tired of talking about the future in that way?”

“Yes. Especially about a future I’d rather not happen.” Fili thought of every expectation she had attached to her and blocked them out with details about her sister. The customs she learned, the texts that she memorized became nothing but her sister’s smile, the way that she dragged her heels and worn down her boots too quickly, and the way that she leaned into her reassuringly, kissing her a little too open-mouthed when they were barely through the door.

They walked toward the bedroom and Fili refused to ruin the moment by scolding her sister for bringing her muddy boots in again.


End file.
